i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
