i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
