I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize