dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
