hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize