You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Slut skills are useful in every country.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
