i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
