this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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