we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Randomize
