I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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