I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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