Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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