you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
