youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
