All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize