I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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