I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
