your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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