So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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