take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
then he tried to convert me to islam
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
