You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
