You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
