we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
