somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
