She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
