I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
