I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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