she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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