Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize