he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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