come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
ok first of all what the fuck
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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