So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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