fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
