i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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