She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
