Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Congratulations! We have a period
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
