Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
