Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
