The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
