my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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