I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
