Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
