sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I have already put on my inside pants.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
