I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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