Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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