When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
