I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
