even my farts smell like vagina
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I just googled if crying burns calories
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
