If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
