i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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