i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
