sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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