The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
