A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
