Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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