someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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