my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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