It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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