I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
