reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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