Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
