Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
