The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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